Recruiter: “I’m so sorry, the client didn’t select you for the next round of interviews, this was because of X”
Candidate: “ok, their loss, not mine, I don’t agree at all with the reason though”
As Recruiters delivering feedback is a fundamental part of our role, but how many of us give the whole contents? Or do we tend to sugar coat it, downplay it, gloss over it, provide a generic reason to not offend the person, or even not give feedback at all…
When we receive feedback from the client, we can often shy away from passing it on to the candidate in full because of the ramifications of what might come back, or not wanting to make a person feel rejected or not wanting to upset them especially when we know they were keen on the job. Sometimes it can be hard to feel a person’s upset and or tears, so we’d rather avoid it.
In truth a person’s upset, irritation or barrage has nothing to do with us or even the interview process but invariably instead something to do with a “blind spot” that is preventing all of everything being seen. In other words, more than just the one particular aspect being focused on and amplified at the time like the” negative interview feedback” for example.
Though what is it that we don’t want to see?
Part of mental healthiness is about being willing to see. If we are willing to see we can learn as opposed to going around the house’s storytelling, deflecting, projecting, directing blame, harbouring resentment and being unaware of our blind spots.
So how can we deal with these blind spots? There are a few things like -
- Opening up
- Talking about things, our feelings
- Being honest, admitting
- Allowing ourselves space to just be, to feel our sensitivity, fragility
- Understanding a bit more of ourselves - what presses our buttons, what are our reactions
- Doing what’s true to us versus what we think is the right thing to do by another
- Breathing our own breath, not the situation, stress, upset
- Scheduling in for ourselves quiet time, reflection, rest, exercise
- Sleeping when we’re tired not cracking on regardless
- Clocking how we are moving our body – coming back to gentleness
- Going for a walk – feeling our feet, legs, shoulders, our whole body
These things and many more can help in building general and personal awareness. They support us to understand why something occurred and from this make new choices. This is how we learn and grow. It’s the inward movement towards personal understanding that can help us feel more prepared to deal with the ever-changing external work environment and support with a level of mental healthiness.
When we prioritise the exercising of the being that is inside the body the same way we prioritise the exercising of our outer physical bodies for fitness or health reasons, we’re able to generate a sense of personal wellbeing or mental healthiness where we feel two-gether; fit for work, fit for life and fit for relationships!
Zofia Sharman - all about relationship, leads the HR practice for Hanover Search Group and is the group’s Well-being Ambassador. For many years she has been deeply committed towards the importance of well-being and vitality at work to those careers she helps manage and clients she recruits for.